Apr 22, 2011

Doctor for Doctor

Selsema, demam, batuk, sakit kepala..

Yesterday was a wonderful day to me, eventhough I was terribly sick.

Morning routine, operations time~ I got myself involved fully in 3 surgeries and being an observer in several others. 2 of those were pediatric cases; Hernia and Axillary tumor. My hands were pretty numb as I've been doing face- mask and bagging for both of the operations. A little exhausting. Nevertheless, we had new residents (senior doctors who's in practical to be a specialist) for surgery that day. Like usual, all of them are male doctors, but this time, more mature. They love teasing on things, but the good part is, they do teach me so so many things and talk a lot of which creating a less stressful condition..

On the evening, I went to the Emergency Unit and have the doctor there checked me up. I sat in front of the doctor, say nothing, looking at him dengan muka kesian..

"Fiqa, kenapa?"
"Tolong periksa.. Sakit.."

He laughed.
He smiled all the time he checked me up.
One of the surgery resident was also there. Quite embarrassed.
He called up my name, and all I could do was smile weakly and waved at him.
Rasa sangat lembik.. Malu.....

I had my throat being checked, my temperature, etc.. All the things I, myself did to other patients except that he could prescribed me medications of which I still can't as that's not my competencies yet..

At night, Nani asked me what do I want to eat for dinner, I couldn't name any. No appetite for anything. Adeline told me that I should eat anything I feel like eating, they'll try to get it. I simply said Pizza, of which it's actually pretty hard as we don't have transport to go around here and we are so new to this placeT_T Suddenly Joshlyn and Kak Wan Nab came and handed us strawberry juice and Pizza. Smoke Chicken BBQ~ Terima kasih Ya Allah~ Nani went back a while later, bringing back isotonic drink, chicken satay and fried mushroom. Semangat makan. Sedap. Orang belanja pulak tu.. Alhamdulillah:')

No operations on Friday. Besides consuming lots of drugs, I did have lots of sleep. Ish.. Did homework with Adeline and Bowo, and went to do pre operation visits by 2pm to 4.430pm. I didn't join the cito (on call for emergency operation) going on right now.. Went back to get myself refreshed. Will go to Emergency Unit after this.

I've just read one letter posted by a husband to a doctor about HO in Malaysia. It freaks and upsets me especially that I'm now sick..

It's not a new thing actually.. We are all well informed about it as I've been hearing the same thing since years, years, years ago.. Tsk.

Here, I don't sense things I've been hearing a lot in Malaysia, at least that's what I've been experiencing so far.. Alhamdulillah, the hospital I'm placed now is such a bless from Allah. The doctors, even the specialists are very nice. They guide and teach us things in ways I feel my self very much comfortable with. Even the nurses, with 25 years of experience are also truly wonderful and humble. Besides teaching me things (the experienced nurses also help the residents, and I never see them teaching them in such arrogant manner..), they even love to share me tips on gaining more weight and about marriage.. Ho Ho.

We doctors are human too, don't we? We do need "doctors" for ourselves, no matter in what aspect.. Setiap dari sifat Allah tu ada sikit (sikit sangat2) pada setiap hambanya.. Salah satu kan adalah sifat Allah yang Maha Penyembuh.. A tiny little part of that is within us, within you, within me. Respect, love, and try our best to understand each other..

Insya Allah..

Apr 12, 2011

A Caliph to A Caliph

Waking up as early as 3.30am, meeting Him, revising things, getting ready, take small breakfast, prepare some meal as my lunch in a tupperware, then make myself presents in the Anesthesiology department at 6.30am.. Went back home at 4pm..
At night, revising things, and sleep around 10pm..
And the cycle goes..

By this Thursday, besides the usual 6.30am to 4pm (certain days would be 2pm) schedule, there'll be On Callsss, i.e staying in my department by 2pm to 7am on my scheduled duty..


I was quite upset to see Hanim went to our Liqa' yesterday with Alia and Ruhi.. I miss our usrah.. I especially miss Hanim, Tika, and adik2 usrah yang menyejukkan mata memandang.. Tika is also in the 1st wave, but she's in a different group, hence different department.. Being away from these two ladies I feel my heart and my soul are so much attached with is honestly harder than I ever thought it'll ever be:'( Ada hikmah Allah "pisahkan" Pqa dengan Hanim dan Tika.. I believe Hanim will do great in her remedial. Will definitely see her in the next 2 months, Insya Allah! Praying for the rest of my other housemates either.. Allahumma amin..

I was quite upset that I hardly can perform religious routine I usually do.. No more tahajjud the way I love to have.. I cry of pitying myself able not to present myself as whole to Him instead of the usual long story- telling and sobbing cry with Him.. I miss those moments.. I miss talking a lot to Him.. Telling Him all that I feel. All that I want to share. I always have stories to pour out to. Anything. Everything....

Is it true, 24 hours is enough for a day...?
Is being a doctor is wrong as I seem to able not to fully devote myself to Him...?


There's a story about Caliph Umar bin Abdul Aziz, the great leader entitled as the 5th Khulafa' Ar Rasyidin which is famously known upon his righteousness.
Story about a responsible and time..

At that time, the caliph was just laying down to take a rest after the death ceremony of the former caliph, Sulaiman bin Malik. Just as he laid himself down, a 17 year- old young man approached him and asked,

"What are you going to do O Amirul Mukminin?"

"Allow me to take a nap. I'm extremely exhausted till there's almost no might left in me."

"Are you going to sleep before you actually return things you've taken by force from the owner, O Amirul Mukminin?"

"By the time of Zuhr, I'll return those things to the respected owners."

"Who give you a guarantee that you are still alive till the time past this Zuhr, O Amirul Mukminin?"

*The young man who gave such a rejoinder is Abdul Malik, the prince of Caliph Umar bin Abdul Aziz himself..
Like father like son.. Masya Allah..*


A king to a human is actually his heart. A caliph. We are created by The Great Al Khaliq as two:
To perform ibadah to Him, and to be a caliph.

Each of us is a caliph with respected specialties, assets, and strength. Allah Maha Adil. Maha Pemurah. Maha Mengetahui. Maha Bijaksana. Segala galanya.. He knows best what characteristics and assets fit us most. He knows what we are able to take. He knows what we deserve to have.. He knows best what we should take and do..

Fortune from Allah can be istidraj, Nauzubillah.. One of the way to avoid this is to take care of the caliph within us.. Our heart.

"The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses (this Qur'an) are recited unto them, they (i.e. the Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone)."
(Al Anfal, 2.) 

My personal most favorite book. The best of book with the best of references. About anything, everything..

Look in the mirror, ask ourselves; we, the caliph on this face of earth:
"O Amirul Mukminin, how good have I use the time I have and do the responsible I should actually do?"

Let's try our best, try to the fullest to use what He blessedly pour us with.
Make those as asbab, as wasilah to make us worth created by Him.
Worth to live as what He selected as for.
Make any tests, gloominess, or difficulties lies within as a motivation to polish our assets.
To make He loves us more and more..



Apr 6, 2011

I need My Guardian

It's the last day of my orientation for the clinical rotation.. Except for the 1st day, the rest of the other days are of which I've been having these gloomy feeling deep inside..

I don't know who I can actually talk to.. Express my feeling to..
Feel like wearing a mask of a happy care- free face whilst having such a crying, shivering heart inside:'(

Rasa nak bawa bekal, picnic dekat tepi air terjun........

Indeed, Allah knows how much I'm very grateful and happy for being selected to enter the 1st wave of Ko'as. I'm excited as much as how I'm all bubbled upon any wonderful thing can ever happen to me.. 

Alhamdulillah..  Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

Nonetheless, I'm scared..
Very scared..

My first department would be Anesthesiology and Reanimation, starting this Monday..
Rabbi yassir wala tuassir..

O Allah.. I need You.. As I always do, always.
In every second that the clock ticks.In every breath that I take.. In every detail of life that I have..
You are the Best of Guardian.. With The Best of Care and Love..
You own me, everything of me.
To You I serve my soul, my heart, my life to.

Taufiqah takmo nangis dah. Taufiqah kuat. Kuat. Kuat. Kuat!


Apr 2, 2011

With Allah's Great Love and Mercy

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

Absolutely not in Malaysian spelling~

Officially entitled as "Doktor Muda" on the very blessed Friday, 1st of April.. During our "Janji Doktor Muda" i.e Ko'as oath ceremony, I somehow finally had a proper and significant head- shot realizing me about my big responsibility.. This clinical rotation is not mainly about having our practical for educational purpose or for the sake of completing our bachelor as whole, but it's also about taking a responsibility to actually be a medium in treating illness or diseases..

People whose job is actually to become the medium for the asbab upon 
the real one and only one Great Healer: 


Doctors may look nerd and serious.. But indeed, we do laugh and play like others:)

Tak ada salji dekat sini, tapi ada banyak bakti:)

Pegang hati dan jiwa kami Ya Allah, dengan sebaik baik pegangan dariMu..
Mantapkan hati dan jiwa kami dalam melaksanakan amanah untukMu..
Bantu kami memberi manfaat dengan menggunakan kelebihan kami dariMu..
Sokong kami untuk sentiasa menjadi lebih baik dan sentisa berada dalam redhaMu..
Ikhlaskan diri kami dan sucikanlah niat kami..
Jangan Kau biarkan kami mengerjakan tanggungjawab kami dan menjalani kehidupan kami tanpa jagaanMu walaupun sedetik..

Allahumma amin..