Jan 25, 2011

Stay With Me..

It had been a truly cold day today. Made me chilled inside out. My anxiety was at its highest peak for the Forensic paper to be sit this morning and for my first time of going out wearing long hijab..

I owe my honey sister a lot.. She helps and encourages me to the fullest once I told her about this matter and still being such ever..

I picked black for there's one friend who told me that's the color of Rasulullah wives' clothes. Perhaps it can be a good kick- start. I cut and sew it myself as nice as possible.. I'm not sure is the shape and size I made is the way how it should be or the other ways round.. Front's length reaches some few centimeters below my navel and back's length reaches around my waist. Ni yang 1st.. Nanti yang lain2 lepas ni nak buat lagi bagus..

To see me in the mirror, I felt myself melting. Felt like crying.. Palpitations.

Ruhi was the first to see me this morning.

"Wahhh.. Comellll"

Ok. Takut dah kurang sikit..

Then to reach campus, the the first eyes I had mine to meet with were my very dear Hanim and Tika.. Their presences were what I needed a lot to sooth my trembling heart, their words and pamper were what I needed a lot to strengthen my weaken knees:') My hands were pretty cold and somewhat shivered so I held Tika's hand tightly. I felt like hugging them, but afraid that I'll shed my tears.. Nak exam ni. Takmo emo2~

Lots of our friends reached then. The boys truly embarrassed me.. Tapi bila pk balik, jadi gelak pulak^^ Some few faces and words I would love to capture:

Nasrul: Waahh. Pqa! Alhamdulillahhhh~

Nazirul: *The typical him when he's amazed or blur or apa2 yang sewaktu dengannya- mata besar, mulut nganga sikit*

Even William and Ray asked me about it..

I couldn't even raise my chin up and indeed couldn't directly see them in the eyes.. Aiyok. Rasa macam baru kenal je pulak dengan diorang ni-_- 

Before the examination started,  Mal came and gave a light soft pinch on my cheek.  


She wished me luck.. I told her what I felt and she told me how much she understands upon what I felt.. I believe she truly do. She'd been in my place, though in somewhat a different situation.. I have a truly huge respect to her on that.. Her smile and her words touched me deep and made me felt bolder. Thank you Mal:')

Ok. Takut dah kurang lagi..

Hanim kept saying how much she loves to see me in this way.

" I rasa tenang je tengok you macam ni.."

O Allah.. She'd been the remedy for an eye sore to me all this while.. The chamber of my comfortableness.. Person I can get myself as bubbly as possible.. A shoulder to cry on.. It's good to know I can be that way for her either.. She told me her wishes to also wear long hijab. She used to before, during her schoolhood.. Wahh~ Sangat suka. Ada geng nanti^^

Well.. When she also joined the Daurah that day, my heart bloomed like a morning glory flower. What more if she ever does the same thing for this one. She's my bestfriend.. She makes a significant part in me:')

I have my own reasons of having myself to go for all this stuff.. Reasons beyond what I can share to anyone, even to Emak.. It may not be hard to others, but it somehow indeed is to me.. It was the 1st day of my struggle and I found lots of things which help making me believe that I've made a right decision:')

To get myself ready for class this morning, I found that it does a good help for me to keep a long healthy hair. I can make a simple ponytail without having to worry if it can be seen as the hijab is long enough to cover it. Anak2, kalau sanggul rambut banyak2 sangat nanti rambut macam tak berapa sihat..

Then, Ruhi and me had our Zohor prayer together in Super Sambal for lunch. I performed my solat in what I was wearing.. Tak payah pakai telekung^^ Another jackpot that I used "Stokin wudhuk", i.e it can be folded up without having had to be taken off..

To boot, it's a lot easier for me to do my hijab especially as only 1 brooch is needed. Previously, I need 4 brooches to pin my hijab~ I'm not the "lilit sana lilit sini" type of girl, nevertheless, I'm quite particular about looking presentable. Selalunya memang sangat lame nak pakai tudung. Ish..

Sumayyah yang baby je lagi ni pun relax je pakai tudung besar. Mak tah ni.. Belemoih la~ Ish ish..
Meh duduk Perlis dengan Sumayyah, kursus pakai tudung labuh~

Withal, Alhamdulillah..
Thank you Allah for the strength You showered me with,
right from the Great Love and Care of Yours
and through everyone around me..
 Learning.. Learning.. Learning..
Insya Allah..

Jan 24, 2011

It Surely Will Come

Last two days we had a class for "Memandikan & Mengkhafankan Jenazah". It was the second time for me to learn it. Still, I have a doubt if I can really properly perform it, and there's a great and heart-shaking bewilderment about me, myself being done so by other people..

Am I ready?
Have my Taubat truly accepted?
Do Allah really forgive those huge heaps of sins I've done through all my life?
How much He at least lessen the heaviness of the azab..?
How much good deeds I have?
Is my points of rewards enough?

Will be sitting for my Forensic Pathology paper tomorrow. Like it or not, I have to serve my attention to photos of dead bodies, photos of heartrending corpse, photos of dreadful and catastrophic wounds, burns, etc etc etc. All about death:'(

Sahaba r.a left the world leaving all the good stories about themselves. Be it about their contributions to Islam or about their characteristics. 

Abu Bakar As Siddiq represents softness, merciful, and compassionate. None of which we can find in the history anything about his bad.. None. Ibnu Abbas when describing him, he said:

"Kana Khoiran Kulla"
Everything about him is good.

Umar Al Khattab, a man well known as a symbol of stern and firmness. For him to be a muslim had been one of the glorious history for the muslims, for us. And one of the many gob-smacking facts about him; he's the worst thing for syaitan where syaitan won't even dare to use the path he's using. They would run. It's somehow beyond imagination for a human to actually freaks that creatures that much. But that's for real..

And these two people are even known as the wings of Islam, where Ali r.a used to say:

"Rasulullah s.a.w will go out with Abu Bakar and Umar, and will come back with Abu Bakar and Umar."

The wives of Rasulullah listed thick pages of beautiful stories and wonderful characteristics either.
Indeed they indubitably are.

Khadijah r.a is one of the truly great women in Islam. She has almost all the first- class qualities for a woman even before she became a muslim. The very first person who accepted Muhammad's teaching, the very first bestfriend of him..

Aisyah r.a represents intelligence, acquisitiveness and one who always eager and thirst for knowledge. She even became the reference for the Sahaba r.a in many matters, especially about Fiqh.

 How about me...?
When I die, how would people talk about me? How will they describe me while I'm alive?
Which group of people they will put me in?
What contributions have I pour that deserve a sincere appreciation?
How will I be in meeting You, O Allah.....

"Ya Allah.. Jadikan sebaik- baik umurku pada hujungnya, dan sebaik- baik amalku pada hujung akhirnya, serta sebaik- baik hariku pada saat aku menemui- Mu."

Amin.. Amin.. Amin..

Jan 23, 2011

A Great, Wonderful Message

A message to the SISTERS IN ISLAM..
A message for us..
A message for me..

O Allah..

Please, always stay with me, with us..
Please O The Most Loving Most Generous..
Love us.. Be with us..
Guide us, help us protect us..
To be the best, blessed, most beautiful flowers, fi Dunya wal Akhirah..

O Allah..
Give me the strength.. Never leave me O Allah.. 
For I need You in every single second that the clock ticks:'(
Makhtag eleik Ya Allah..
 Leek, ana melki leek.. Leek,  whorokhy feek..
Wentallana ba'sha' hawah.....
To You I have my breath for, to You I will have it ends..
To You I'm giving my everything to.

Allahumma amin...

Jan 22, 2011

Tummy Indulgence: Chicken Curry

I love cooking, I believe most of us do. The pleasure of preparing the dishes, having the aroma to sooth us within, and to actually indulge ourselves with our own touch or we call "air tangan" are part of the best things about it. And to me personally, the wonderfulness which tops the rest would be the gladness of having people to enjoy it^^

Here, a recipe I would like to share. I altered the recipe on my own based on my very dear Emak's recipe and Kari Mamak's.

"Dr. Pqa Chicken curry"
  • 1 whole chicken (i usually cut it into 10)
  • Rempah 4 sekawan: Cardamom (more than 5, less than 10), Clove (5), Cinnamon (2), Star anise (5). *These flavors are based on your liking, but too little won't help much to enhance the taste, too much will spoil it.*
  • A spray of Curry leaves. *Tak ada pun takpe. Jangan risau ye tuan2 dan puan2^*
  • Curry powder, 5 tablespoons. Make it into a paste by mixing with half to 1 cup of water. *I like to use Baba's or Alagappas. Ada ummph^^*
  • Tomato sauce
  • Plain water, around 1 liter. 
  • Kerisik, 1 table spoon. *Optional*

Chopped, blend or mashed these:
  • Garlic (4 cloves)
  • Red onion (4 cloves)
  • Ginger (thumb size)
  • Cili api (2 or 3. Kalau ada budak kecik amam sekali, 1 dah cukup..)
*I prefer mashing it using "lesung". More old- school^^*

Slice these:
  • Sweet onion (whole of it. if it's too big, half is enough)
  • Red onion (3,4)
  • Coconut milk (half cup) 
  • Sugar to taste
  • Salt to taste
Cut these:
  • Fresh red tomatoes
  • Potatoes
*1 or 2 is enough*

Let's start it~

1. Heat the oil in the frying pan or pot. I hardly can put the exact measurement, it can be around 5 tablespoons of oil. If you want a healthier and yummier dishes, add an olive oil to it. The ratio of cooking oil to olive oil can be 4:1. *Nak lebih pun takpe.. Tapi minyak sayur mahal~*

2. Fry the "4 sekawan" and put in daun kari. Bila kayu manis nampak dah kembang, add in the mashed ingredients. Fry till they turn yellowish. Takmo sampai coklat taw.

3. Add in the sliced ingredients.

4. As the sliced onion half- cooked, pour the curry paste. Kecikkan api sikit. Biarkan, tapi kacau sikit2 sampai naik minyak. *Biasanya waktu ni baru pqa prepare ayam; potong, buang lemak, bersihkan apa semua. Jimat masa^^*

Naik minyak macam ni. Kalau tak naik minyak, nanti kari tu "mentah", macam tak sedap sikit nanti..
5. Pour 3 tablespoons of tomato sauce. Stir them well.

6. Add in the potatoes and chickens. Bagi ayam2 tu golek2 dalam kari tadi.

7. Pour in the water, slowly. Takmo terus curah taw.

8. Kacau. Kacau. Bila nampak ayam dah masak (dah takde darah keluar), add in coconut milk. You can add more if you prefer a milkier taste^^. *Biasa orang Melayu kita pakai banyak santan. Kari mamak tak letak santan.. Kalau nak berniaga tapi nak kari yang sedap, pakai resipi kari mamak.*

9. Add in kerisik and tomatoes. Stir..

10. Add in sugar, around 1 teaspoon. And finally add in salt, based on your own liking^^

11. Bila ayam dah masak, kentang dah empuk, tomato dah lembut, tutup api.


Jan 21, 2011

Cupcakes- baking Time:)

 Ingredients for the cupcake:
  • 150g butter
  • 185g self raising flour (it's okay to use plain wheat flour, but add 1 teaspoon of baking powder)
  • 150g caster sugar (i usually use normal sugar, simply blend it^^)
  • 1/2 teaspoon of sodium bicarbonate
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla essence
For the icing:
  • 100g butter
  • 200g icing sugar
  • 2 teaspoon hot water
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla essence
  • Anything you prefer for decoration (eg. chocolate rice)

Let's start working~ 

  • Mix butter with the caster sugar. Stir them well..

  • Add in the eggs then vanilla essence. Stir nicely..

  • Add in the flour. Mix them together. Arrange the paper cups inside the cupcake molder.

  • Fill in the mixture about 3/4 full. *kalau nak buat icing tu tebal & tinggi, isi separuh je*

  • Bake for 10 minutes at 180 degree Celsius.

    Let's make the topping^^

    • Beat butter and icing sugar well. Sampai kembang taw.
    • Add in hot water, then beat again till the mixture turns creamy and white.
    • Don't top the cupcakes with icing while the cupcakes are still hot. Biarkan sekejap dulu..
    • Then decorate as you wish=)

      Jan 17, 2011

      OUR VICTORIES, Do you still remember?

      We got our 4.2 result today. I got A.. Mumtaz, Alhamdulillah.. Hurm.. It was one of the best block to me anyway. The professors, doctors, and panel guests are good, the blogging- contract was such a great offer being taken, and the event of Merapi eruption had made the block merrier. I miss my geeky, nerdy blog^^

      Talking about Mumtaz, I blessedly found a great video of the very great victories in our history, Islamic history..What more when these happened during Ramadan~

      Let's open our heart, open our mind, open our eyes.
      Look, learn, and understand OUR HISTORY.
      Cus history teaches us about SUNNATULLAH.

      It's for their great, noble contributions that Islam is breathing till now..
      It's our responsible to continue and bring back the glorious times of Islam!
      Let's be part of the contributors!


      Jan 16, 2011

      To feel Loved and Protected

      Went for our usual weekend Daurah yesterday. More akhwat Jakarta with us and the juniors look as eager as babies to hand- feed almost everything. Same goes to me. Tapi Piqa kan kakak, control sikit. Hee~

      In the morning, my heart blooming to the fullest to see Ruz:') Ruz gave me a big hug and I hugged her tightly. Rindu sangat dekat Ruz.. I have to excuse myself earlier for my thesis's experiment. Before I left, Dib told me there was a souvenir. The typical me, my heart jumping with great excitement. Wee~ Ada hadiah^^

      They hugged me so close, kissed and Dayah handed me a truly sweet give, fruiting a feeling I hardly experience on other gifts I usually get..

      to PIQAH

      "Semoga tsabat di jalan ini."

      Love, akhwat jakarta.

      Felt happy and touched. Deeply touched..

      Somewhat the same developing in me like months ago, whilst I were drowning pathetically in the mud where Tika and Ain texted me and they began with;

      "Piqa, Tika sayang sangat Piqa"
      "Piqa, Ain sayang sangat Piqa"
      But that time, I was also filled with embarrassment and regrets..
      This time, SEMANGAT~

      O Allah.. I love them either. Very much. Beyond what I can actually say or show.. Please pour them, pour us, the very blessed of Your Love ever..

      Jan 12, 2011


      I've got to know more and more people these days.. People from world so different from me.. Know lots about Hadits, about Quran, about Fiqh in Islam.. And they are not only know about such things, they actually really understand it.

      The wall of my room is pasted with lots of notes. Respiratory patterns in coma; Cheyne- Stokes, CNH, apneustic, ataxic.. Immunization schedule.. Pneumonia.. WBC counts.. GCS.. etc etc etc notes on my study..

      And a small space towards qiblah, to where I sit to spend my time on my study table (not always for study purpose, indisputably is) is my grading and score since I was in my 1st year till now 4th year.. "Sayonara Jahiliyah" notes I got during our Daurah.. Zikr from "Kitab Ilmu Perubatan Kesufian" from dear Abah.. And some quote of my favorite significant ayah in certain surah of Al Quran.. All that I choose to have them within my sight just because they have significant purpose or meanings to me..

      None of those I have on my wall include any notes on Islamic study.. The significant dates in Islam.. The notes of the important war in Islam.. etc etc etc.. None of what beyond things I pick just based on what I want or my favorite..

      More often than not, I don't know about my own religion.. Fiqh, Sirah,Tajwid.. I believe somehow I've been too much in chasing this worldly matters to much.. I cry till I got my nose red like a clown, till my eyes turn into a puffy golf- ball, and mourning as much as a pity wife crying for his husband death when I can't understand what I heard in the lectures or what I read.. And exaggeratedly being so either if I got a not- so- good grade in my examination..

      Nevertheless, I wasn't such
      when I didn't remember the date of our beloved Rasulullah's death when one my Daurah member raised up the question about it that day.. And despite the fact that I've lead the prayers so many times since years, years ago, nonetheless pathetically finally realized about my so so so many mistakes in my Tajwid only a few days ago:'(

      So eager and work hard to memorize and understand this and that pathology, diagnosis, etc.. Notwithstanding, hardly do so to understand Islam to the fullest. And always make as if I know a lot about.. With no shame believe I've understand a lot about it.. Too far to actually memorize more and more surah in Quran..

      And I thought I've devoting myself enough to the word;

      لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

      We need time to learn, we need time to learn from mistake, we need time to rebound back, we need time to grow.. While the time that we have to live is actually as SHORT as the time between Adzan to Iqamah..

      O Allah.. Help me, help us all to use the time You grand us with as splendid as how You've greatly created us..

      Jan 4, 2011

      Gratitude to The One

      Well.. I was wondering around through loads of file in my lappy to get some idea for my Islamic Class assignment, then I found a video in my 2nd year folder: From Conception To Birth. Feel quite fragile and dull at this moment, so I worked on this video that somehow, someway, I feel refreshed. Not that much, but it helps.

      Sit back, relax, and here, a gift~

      Enjoy the video:)
      *keep your volume high*

      May we always remember who created us, how, and why.

      Jan 2, 2011

      Good Seeds, Beautiful Flower

      This is such a sweet pie for a sour tongue the fact that there are times, we lament about our soon- to- take career.. I mean, honestly, we have pretty much heaps of apprehensions floating around especially about the pressure we will face later..

      Nanti nak ajar anak2 pasal medic awal2.. Dekat hospital dah jadi doktor layan orang lain, balik rumah ada doktor comel pulak layan. Hee^^

      "Wahai Tuhan kami, anugerahkan pada kami pasangan dan keturunan yang menjadi permata hati kami dan jadikanlah kami pemimpin orang- orang yang bertaqwa."


      Jan 1, 2011

      Another Gift From HIM:)

      Alhamdulillah.. Blessed with another year to have:) As much as I could recall it back, this 2011 celebration is the most beautiful new year eve I've ever had..

      Our Daurah was held in Parangtritis which takes almost 1 hour from my home. Long distance trip on a bike is way more exhausting than that of a car. Howbeit, me, hitchhiking Celina had a little less of such than her. Huu.. Thank you Celina.. Lain kali akak bawa awak naik scooter akak pulak^^

      The place was nice. And I always love the trip. Paddy field area is always a remedy for an eye sore:) I Felt very much welcomed by the Usrah members even I was a new comer.. The Daurah gave me a truly splendiferous warmth, I hardly could explain how much it really is and I believe my one night insomnia is merely a tiny single dust compared to the rest of other things I have.

      To note, the road which is just 100m outside from our homestay had never failed being occupied by vehicles, and people crowding at the area to celebrate the new year brought noises which got worst when the fireworks were lighted up. They even sang so many songs which amazingly became a lullaby to me. Siap2 baring nak tidur pukul 10pm tapi sampai pukul 12.30am dapat dengar lagi orang dodoikan.. Ish Ishh..

      Well.. Our big topic is SAYONARA JAHILIYAH.. I learned and discovered lots of things.. Here I am, realizing how so little things I know and remember in my life.. To boot, there are so many things which make me hold on the ground stronger upon handling things which put a heavy loads on my shoulder, especially at these moments..

      "Tidak ada seorangpun yang meninggalkan keburukan yang ia rasakan nikmat, hanya kerana Allah, kecuali ia pasti menemukan gantinya dari Allah."
      (Ibnu Sirin)

      On a blessed morning of 1.1.11, Tika let me to be the Imam for our Subuh prayer. It wasn't the first time for me to lead the prayer, but the feeling was utterly different..

      My resolution is to really work not merely towards becoming a good Muslim, but sure-fire a good Mukmin. Insya Allah..

      We had the closing curtain of our Daurah with a lovey dovey times in Parangtritis beach and enjoyed huge servings of seafoods. Hee^^

      Alhamdulillah.. Everything I have and I got are indeed awe-inspiring
      that my heart blooming in every second the clock ticks. I'm grateful of how Allah help me to have such a beautiful ending of 2010 and beginning of 2011:')