"Ummi and Abi want you, honey"

3 months ago, Allah grant us with one of the most wonderful ni'mat: the beautiful wedlock. Like many other newly- weds, I got heaps of question and request to share my just- married stories. Life twist from single becoming a wife, especially..

Astoundingly, there's a creature Allah lovingly sent to grow in my womb, as soon as I got married. Seems that it's a cocktail of becoming and Ahlia and Ummi story, I believe~

*****

One month plus of our marriage, as to have many convincing signs appearing (so- called freshly graduated medical degree person, huh), I have a self- checked for pregnancy.

Positive. Ironically, both the responses of Abg and me were not the typical cheering dramatic response of the happily ever- after couple..

Abg is quite fair, so his face had obviously turned red. I felt a strong hot flush on my face. We looked into each other, and there was quite a long pause in between. We've been planning to have baby once I've finished my clinical years. Once I officially get that "DR" tittle. Once Abg also come back to Malaysia for good.

I'm in Indonesia whilst Abg in Jordan within this two years. What will happen to me? Mak is certainly going to worry a lot about me.. What will happen to my clinical years? How many holidays I'm applying more soon? When will I exactly end up my clinical years and go back to Malaysia for good? What will the people say?

Mute. My heart cracked.. I let my hands held in his. I was all shivering.

Abg broke the silence by saying "Alhamdulillah" and hugged me tight.

"Wamakaru wamakarallah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah."

There I was, in him. Letting the warmth of him to rejuvenate me.
Bursting into tears. Crying...

*****

I stayed with my parents in- laws for the whole Ramadhan as Abg became the imam for the Terawih prayers in Penang and Kedah. Aidilfitri is one thing. But Ramadhan is the month long- awaited for the promises Allah listed up for. Pregnancy- related changes upon my body made me have this Ramadhan as the toughest one. I was disappointed as it was our first Ramadhan as husband and wife and there I was- morning sickness, nauseating, vomiting, getting dizzy, and exhausting.. And to complete the combo- I'm being moody.

I only managed to become the ma'mum of Abg for the whole 20 raka'at prayers on the 1st Ramadhan. 8 raka'at in several Ramadhan, and there were several nights I only sat at the back, going through the Al Quran, following Abg's recitation. Most of the nights anyway, I stayed, waiting to welcome Abg home. Putting all the might to have myself prepared, have the light meals, drinks, and bed ready to serve Abg once he reached home..

I couldn't afford to wake up for Tahajjud. There are times I got myself awake, seeing Abg praying. Once he's done, I would rest myself next to him, joining his zikr and du'a..

Many times though, I only able to look at him, sobbing in tears. Abg would have me close to him, and he would recite some surah to me, and to our baby. My rain- pouring heart would often has its sunshine everytime Abg does so. I like it best when Abg recite them in Ghamidi's and Sudais's recitation:')


This pregnancy, my extreme homesickness to my dear Mak, my non- stop thoughts about my clinical years are thawing just there as I let my mind and soul filled with the pleasant tranquility of the words of Allah...

*****

3rd day of our marriage, I got a high fever. The "real" spoiled Taufiqah had showed..

And now, Abg had to face the pregnant Taufiqah..

I'm not sure is it because of Mak's repeating admonitions before we get married,

"Adam.. Anak mak ni manja sangat2.. Ngada2.."

or is it because we are newly- weds, Abg always treats me so much like a precious princess.. Despite me being an easily crying girl, always throwing tantrum, moody and sulking, never did Abg raise his voice at me. Never did he nag at me. Instead, he always know the way to tame me, to make me melt, and put romance sparkling at most circumstances. Age does matter, as Abg is 5 years older than me, more mature I believe.

Abg loves calling me "Sayang yang cantik rupawan" since the 2nd day of our marriage, and eventhough I'm now pregnant; of which more often than not, I truly able not to make myself presentable and always look pretty for him *sobs*- Abg still calling me that way, even in sms:')

*****

I went to have my first ANC (Antenatal Care) in the clinic on 16th of August 2011. My baby's reaching 8th week of its fetal development. We went for my 1st USG the next day, 17th of August, 17th Ramadhan- Nuzul Quran. Abg was with me at first, but he got an urgent call once I was inside the room for my check up. Been lamenting for being a sick pregnant woman, and now I was left alone to have my first ANC- I was upset.

I have my belly scanned, and there it goes- a 2 cm, pea size creature is living in my uterus. Tears running down on my cheeks to especially see the obvious fast beating heartbeat of my own baby. I felt fortuitously happy and grateful that moment, I was and I am. Indeed. Abg flashed in my mind that moment. I was so excited. I miss him.

I'm happy that I'm becoming an "Ummi" later. Alhamdulillah:')

*****

Since the 1st early morning we have as husband and wife, Abg keeps our bed tidy every morning more often than I do. Abg helps me to cook when I'm able to and always cut the fruits for me..  He help to fold our cloths, iron them, and even pack my things.

He stayed for 5 days once I've started my practical back, keeping my chores in hand, sending and fetching me back- to- forth to hospital and much much more.. I'm now in the Eye department of which I have different subdivisions for shift each day. So there are lots, lots, lots and variety of stories would I have to share with him- about doctors, about myself, about the patients.

Yes, I'm a pregnant Taufiqah- keep nauseating, dizzy and stuff, but I'm still the bubbly, chatterbox Taufiqah. Huhu. Abg will listen carefully, like he always does, no matter how nothing- much- to- mention the thing is. A very composed and forbearing man, indeed he is.. Abg always has his wisdom words, often mixing with hadith and stories from Al Quran to relate with my stories.. I'm (so far) no longer a thirsty, excited reader as much as I am before, it's a jackpot to have stories narrated to me:')

*****

Now that he's in Jordan, I feel so much like a cast away.. Honestly, in this morning- sickness and no- appetite fettle, I become very fragile..


Alhamdulillah, most people around me who know I'm pregnant treat me wonderfully, especially my groupmates, housemates, batchmates, and indeed, I often feel blessed most upon having Hanim around..


She's my bestfriend since I'm single, and now she appears to take the role of Abg and Mak.. Buying me food, drinks, sweets, and keep showering me with her since- ever care and attention. If Abg's tagline would be "Sayang nak apa, bagitahu je Abg", Hanim's is "Pqa, you nak apa, bagitahu je I".. Hanim didn't leave me when I was drowning in my yesterdays, instead, and till now keep being one of the splendid strength for me to istiqamah in what I've decided.. Now here goes my Hanim, staying still with her loving solicitude, keeping this spoiled and fragile Bumil in sober sentiment:')

Jazakillah Hanim. Barakallah. Barakallah. Barakallah..
Alhamdulillah..

*Bumil: Short form for Ibu Hamil in Indonesia

*****

I have abundance of fearful thoughts and apprehensions in me.. About this pregnancy-bearing within moments I have to work a lot in hospitals, walk here and there, even riding on the rocky roads here... About my clinical's.. My study.. etc..

But I trust in Allah. Abg and me both believe that Allah definitely always know what is best for us to us, what is best for us to Him.. Whatever may come ahead, Allah knows the reason for such to happen. 

ALLAHUMA'ANA.

"When Allah desires good for someone, He tries him with hardships."

Rasulullah s.a.w

(narrated by Bukhari)

Doakan kami..