Waking up as early as 3.30am, meeting Him, revising things, getting ready, take small breakfast, prepare some meal as my lunch in a tupperware, then make myself presents in the Anesthesiology department at 6.30am.. Went back home at 4pm..
At night, revising things, and sleep around 10pm..
And the cycle goes..
By this Thursday, besides the usual 6.30am to 4pm (certain days would be 2pm) schedule, there'll be On Callsss, i.e staying in my department by 2pm to 7am on my scheduled duty..
I was quite upset to see Hanim went to our Liqa' yesterday with Alia and Ruhi.. I miss our usrah.. I especially miss Hanim, Tika, and adik2 usrah yang menyejukkan mata memandang.. Tika is also in the 1st wave, but she's in a different group, hence different department.. Being away from these two ladies I feel my heart and my soul are so much attached with is honestly harder than I ever thought it'll ever be:'( Ada hikmah Allah "pisahkan" Pqa dengan Hanim dan Tika.. I believe Hanim will do great in her remedial. Will definitely see her in the next 2 months, Insya Allah! Praying for the rest of my other housemates either.. Allahumma amin..
I was quite upset that I hardly can perform religious routine I usually do.. No more tahajjud the way I love to have.. I cry of pitying myself able not to present myself as whole to Him instead of the usual long story- telling and sobbing cry with Him.. I miss those moments.. I miss talking a lot to Him.. Telling Him all that I feel. All that I want to share. I always have stories to pour out to. Anything. Everything....
Is it true, 24 hours is enough for a day...?
Is being a doctor is wrong as I seem to able not to fully devote myself to Him...?
There's a story about Caliph Umar bin Abdul Aziz, the great leader entitled as the 5th Khulafa' Ar Rasyidin which is famously known upon his righteousness.
Story about a responsible and time..
At that time, the caliph was just laying down to take a rest after the death ceremony of the former caliph, Sulaiman bin Malik. Just as he laid himself down, a 17 year- old young man approached him and asked,
"What are you going to do O Amirul Mukminin?"
"Allow me to take a nap. I'm extremely exhausted till there's almost no might left in me."
"Are you going to sleep before you actually return things you've taken by force from the owner, O Amirul Mukminin?"
"By the time of Zuhr, I'll return those things to the respected owners."
"Who give you a guarantee that you are still alive till the time past this Zuhr, O Amirul Mukminin?"
*The young man who gave such a rejoinder is Abdul Malik, the prince of Caliph Umar bin Abdul Aziz himself..
Like father like son.. Masya Allah..*
Like father like son.. Masya Allah..*
A king to a human is actually his heart. A caliph. We are created by The Great Al Khaliq as two:
To perform ibadah to Him, and to be a caliph.
Each of us is a caliph with respected specialties, assets, and strength. Allah Maha Adil. Maha Pemurah. Maha Mengetahui. Maha Bijaksana. Segala galanya.. He knows best what characteristics and assets fit us most. He knows what we are able to take. He knows what we deserve to have.. He knows best what we should take and do..
Fortune from Allah can be istidraj, Nauzubillah.. One of the way to avoid this is to take care of the caliph within us.. Our heart.
"The believers are only those who, when Allah is mentioned, feel a fear in their hearts and when His Verses (this Qur'an) are recited unto them, they (i.e. the Verses) increase their Faith; and they put their trust in their Lord (Alone)."
(Al Anfal, 2.)
|My personal most favorite book. The best of book with the best of references. About anything, everything..|
Look in the mirror, ask ourselves; we, the caliph on this face of earth:
"O Amirul Mukminin, how good have I use the time I have and do the responsible I should actually do?"
Let's try our best, try to the fullest to use what He blessedly pour us with.
Make those as asbab, as wasilah to make us worth created by Him.
Worth to live as what He selected as for.
Make any tests, gloominess, or difficulties lies within as a motivation to polish our assets.
To make He loves us more and more..
GO GO GO!